All posts by Chris Nesti

Author of Popdiatry.com

Orange Cat A-lympics

A certain shoe company collab’d with a certain cartoon cat recently and got us thinking about orange felines in pop culture and where they may rate in a national championship based on a multitude of factors.

Medalists

HEATHCLIFF

Heathcliff, Heathcliff no one should terrorize their neighborhood went the theme— what, pray tell, is wrong with that for an intro? Gets the gold. Heathcliff was battling a pimpish character and a gang of junkyard dreadnok-types with amphibious vehicular capabilities, getting the bag (the fish) and impressing the female felines while other orange cats were more.. indoorsy. He had a little Bugs (Bunny) in’im. This cat may’ve been a car-toon, but he put the G in imagination. The featured image is a screenshot from the theme. We’re so intrigued by the pink boot we might now watch the whole run.

AZRAEL

Who’s Azrael? That’s Gargamel’s sidekick — arch enemy of the miniature blue beings called Schtroumpfs — The Smurfs; who lived in a mushroom village ruled by a Papa. We were an American Smurfs’ generation half-TV-watcher. The girls collected the rubberized Smurf miniatures and the boys opted for M.U.S.C.L.E. mini-men, but the Smurfs cartoon appealed to boys AND girls despite Smurfette being one of the only female characters (more on that never). If you liked the Smurfs, check out the Snorks — underwater Smurf-types from the same cloth. We were always rooting for Azrael to catch one of the nobody Smurfs so we’re awarding them the silver. Even Gargamel had a certain charm as an evil crank. It’s all in the writing son.

Gargamel and his cat Azmael (Peyo)

CAPTAIN FURFACE

We copped two Captain Furface books from the Weekly Reader way back in the 1980s and remember them quite fondly, if at all. We didn’t know much about performance enhancers back then, so it didn’t occur to us Furface may have been a steroid user (something a cat would accuse human of accusing a cat of). To the author James M. Ellis, if you’re reading this, we have no proof that Captain was a user of performance enhancing drugs. Action and romance classics often feature ultrafied heroic imagery based on the hero character. Captain Furface is no different, and the pages prove he worked hard, ate healthy and we remember him outwitting each threat with admirable dispatch. Bronze.

Honorable Mentions

Ookla the Mok – Not really a cat, but honorably worth a mention. ‘Moc’ has a shoey ring to it too. The leonine humanoid Ookla was down with Thundarr the Barbarian and could rip trees from the ground to use as a fightstick.

Garfield – The round eyeballs, the disdain for Mondays, Italian food love, the relatability — this was kids’ stuff while the adults were playing poker watching Heathcliff and Riff Raff. Can’t knock the artstyle. Plus what other toon cat has their own line with a major sneaker company?

Garfield x Puma Leadcat 2.0 sandal

Tigger – he’s a tiger and only part orange but we’ll give him some honors. Glad as hell to hear he and Eeyore the donkey escaped being in the horror flick ‘Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey’ due to their strong copyright game.

Missing any orange cats? Yep probably. If we get enough “what about _____”s , we’ll do another whole piece. It’s that simple. We’re not a doctor, nor are we cartoon experts, just a man who knows a thing or two. And if someone out there has an actual orange real cat that’s a hero to them — saved the day, or perhaps the year — we’ll keep eyes out. ♥

Why Basketball Sneakers are Hot for Walking

Not for long arduous walks across the citytown — for that we’d opt for some leather and cork trekreadies — but for a nice most-of-everyday cross-trainer/errand runner (pick your favorite exercise) — you can do far worse than the modern basketball sneaker. Pick your favorite sneak company, better yet buy one you haven’t tried before. The heavy padding, the pull-tab tongue/heel, the rounded outsole (which we like to imagine are amalgamations of our human sole <analytics> they often are); they’ve come a long way baby. We don’t even play (unless you count NBA Jam), but love to watch and listen. Pro ballers have to sprint, stop-on-dimes, and leap — putting amounts of abuse of the knees — that means for an average Android10-using Jane or Joe that likes to do the walk-thing and perhaps a little dancercise — hoops shoes are better than running shoes. Mainly because they feature flatter toe spring , but also you get superior jumpability in lateral directions while runners primarily favor forwardness. De-fense. Mine sure helped me a couple times bounce over puddles and hop out of the way of myriad various micro mobility vehicles that infest the city streets and sidewalks nowadays. Baseball players wear B-ball kicks sometimes in spring training, and they’d certainly be suitable for something like kickboxing practice or weightlifting.

To all my #over40 sneaker enthusiasts whose interest in B-ball kicks may have peaked some time last millennium — new designs flat out have potential to leave last century’s decade’s stompers in the dust. They used to hoop in Chucks ya know. New offerings of the past 2 to 4 years have evolved in design and no category is more on the come-up than womens’.  Companies like UA, Puma and others are showing data that proves simply shrinking a ‘male’ shoe is not good enough. There’s more variation in the average shape of a female foot. WNBA players are getting fresher deals and signature models. If you haven’t been to a specialty shoe store since forever, no matter your age or sex, go on then (only so many pictures you can zoom in on online). High-top, low-top (love us a good mid-top), imagine Harrison Ford’s voice as Han or Indy — trust me — if you don’t already know. Try some new school basketball sneakers. For walking. You can show a shoe dog new kicks. Dreams may come true. Congratulations to the Celtics on the Atlantic conference win. It was a fun season. Walk well all. Have a potato chip. Be on-guard for the 3 (wheelers on the sidewalk).

Shoe Game Mess: Stepped In Tar

Whenever you get a scratch or a gash on your sneaker remember it could have been worse. It could’ve been my sneaker. This time it was. My fault. I was zooming around on foot the other day (not the video app). They’ve been doing lots of road repair on the real streets here. I was rushing — I stepped in undried tar unknowingly (or some similar sealant who cares). Shoulda woulda coulda. We hit it with some brushes and fluids later and the foul debris with additional pebbleage from the short walk back was permanent. It’s been about a decade since I’ve stepped in poo. Maybe I was due for one of my soles being turned-to-stone.

In my Shoe Game Chess piece, these court trainers were some knightly exemplars who’d given years’ good wear and justly protected my lead foot from a road hazard. Over at hospital (the experts at East Village Shoe Repair) they were able to get most of the gunk out using proper tools and a bombardment of Moneysworth and Best cleaner. Alas, these are now long over the fresh n’ clean horizon but can trudge on as pawns continuing lower-key use in the rain, doing chores, cleaning or painting.

Whenever you get a ding or a nick on your favorite kick remeber it could have been worse. Could have been your bare ass foot. Thanks shoe.

Politicswear: 5 17 22

Welcome voters. What a night to drop our first Politicswear column. With the unpredictable Pennsylvania Senate primaries happening today — a whole seat in November’s balance — they’re lowkey a big deal! You’ve read up on all the issues now . . .  what do the candidates have for . . .  promotional gear? (A rarely if ever uttered question). We’re taking a look at some soft-goods in this 2022 United States Pennsylvania Senatorial battle.

Ground notes:  Republican candidates David McCormick and Kathy Barnette have no promotional gear at this time. Democrats John Fetterman and Malcolm Kenyatta have cloth face coverings available at their shops. Both Fetterman and Kenyatta feature pro-marajuana legalalization tees. Republicans Dr. Oz and Carla Sands have beverage coolers.

Connor Lamb for (PA) Senate has a shop and offers this basic T-shirt which reflects the pizzazzless campaign rather well. The tees are made-in-USA, printed in Pittsburg and come sized S — 3XL.

Lamb for Senate (PA) Image from connorlamb.com


John Fetterman
, the brogressive Lieutenant governor running for Senate wins for the most overtly online vibed item of merch that is based on a social media spat waged on the microblogging site twitter. Also American-made, and printed in Pittsburgh. Sized S — 5XL.

Fetterman D (for Senate) PA. Image from johnfetterman.com

On the left, and part of this Keystone state Dem contest as well , Malcolm Kenyatta has some message-shirts available, including this Oughta Have a Union tee (XS—3XL) USA-made and union printed.

Kenyatta for Senate (PA) Image from malcolmkenyatta.com


The emptiest campaigns often have the fullest shops. This checks for Doctor Memet Oz including this Won’t Be Canceled cotton tee. Fancy the sentiment is up to the uncancellers (also known as voters) in the state of Pennsylvania to prove how good or bad you’d look walking around town wearing this after today.

Oz for Senate (PA) Image from doctoroz.com

Starting with Oz, and to his right, it becomes like a trip to Spencer Gifts (American mall shop) for shirts you might find at a county fair with silly sayings and the candidates’ names barely in view like the Carla Sands for Senate “Official Vaccine Passport: I’m an American, I Can Do What I Want” tee.

If you’re over 18, lace up your kicks, Make sure you’re registered. Make a plan to vote if you haven’t in this mickey fickey already. It’s a senate seat in Pennsylvania! Move your synapses!! Stay tuned for the rest of the politics-wear we’re digging up ’til November. Peace.

Sneakerella: Date-Night for Shoe-Heads

We chuckled when Chosen Jacobs’ character (El) takes the cover off the car (see trailer below). This “modern twist on Cinderella” resembles the Cinder in name only and doesn’t take itself too seriously on the rella. If you’re in your 40s like me, do you get Clueless vibes at first watch? With winks and nods, it looks like thought went into portraying insidery elements of footwear-design, shop work, teen crushes, family drama, and even some media/celeb stuff. Effect-wise, the cartoon flourishes are Star Wars level, looks like it has a fantastic cast, NYC shots look mint (don’t cry for me pre-pandemic). If you’re a certified sneaker-lover with a Metrocard, dontcha kinda have to see this no matter your age?

It appears real life big brands exist in this toon-enhanced universe. We see Nike, Vans, adidas and more, but the fictional star kicks resemble if all the sneaker companies collaborated on the shoe version of a technicolor dreamcoat. IMDB tags it: comedy, family, musical. Would naming it something a little less on-the-nose strike this 40-something as a little less cheesy-at-first-site? Truth is it’s a wonder there hasn’t been a big budget Sneakerella before (like, sure it was someone’s tag somewhere), but Disney already had a thing for the little glass slipper, the bank to arrange multiple product-placements and the whizzes to imaginate a sneaker-verse as such. Sneakerella it is. Plus we love cheese. Drop date: Later this year

“Lace up and dream”

How To Style The Giuseppe Cobras

There’s a new Giuseppe Zanotti ad with Young Thug for these sneakers whose outsoles form Cobras. Even immune from feeling some-type-of-way types can’t deny that these are statement-type kicks (to say the least). And while maybe not to the extent of a >1000 price, they are from a respected shoemaker and we’d guess aren’t plasticky, flakey or breaky-prone. Instead of asking WHY there is a shoe like this, why aren’t your sneakers incorporating nature-based sculpture for their outsole designs? No actual cobras were harmed in the making of these. The uppers are (cow) leather with snake-shaped polymer-based “rubber” on the lowers.

Giuseppe Zanotti “Cobra” shoe

I haven’t seen these in real life yet, but what better way to solidify the aesthetic by preemptively accessorizing a genuine cobra belt with a head-buckle. The more proof they need, the harder the dunk. In their face! Though you should never let a doubter get that close. There are a lot of lame looking faux skins on shoes these days. GZ isn’t trying to lie to us about materials (unlike other snakeskin shoefakers). It’s on us to raise our fangs to that reality-level.

Cobra Head Belt by Yoder Leather

There is something G.I. Joe about these Cobra shoes—talking Cobra Commander, Destro, Baroness, Serpentor-type somethings. New Era had, at times, a run of Cobra hats. That would cap off a snake-look something nice. Especially if you know your Joe (Cobra were too cool to fully root against). Wearing the Cobra with the Cobra would convey a sense of humor and serve as a reverse conversation ice-breaker to begin all conversation ice-breakers. Please refer to the Marvel comics for true canon.

New Era Cobra hat

Movie fans. Raiders of the Lost Ark had a playset for the Well Of Souls (the snake protected chamber of the Ark). Those were asps and not cobras, but the reminder reminded. Who’s looking forward to the new Indiana Jones movie btw?

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark Well of the Souls playset by Kenner (image from Toymania.com)

In the Well of Souls (soles?) there were snakes.

Image from ebay

The GZ Cobra shoes are sized for men but gals can certainly apply the minus 1.5 rule. What would Medusa wear to the prom after all? My mom said they seemed like something for 5—16 year-olds. Doubtless the fantastical cosplay potential is huge. Check out the Giuseppe ad here:

Where were YOU when you first saw the cobra shoe?

Off the Shelf: Authentic by Paul Van Doren

” After twenty years, I had learned every aspect of the sneaker business. I could make them in my sleep and suggested starting a small sneaker factory in Southern California.”

This memoir by the founder of Vans is my bittersweet summer memory for 2021 and forever on. Mostly sweet. Premillennial Vans-heads will find Authentic extra nice because it covers just about every event along the company’s timeline from the days of being a Californian specialty to the gigantic global present. Sadly, Paul’s Van Doren’s death in May left an indelible legacy in the American shoe story, and as these chapters tell, an irreplaceable family presence of which the history of Vans includes the many dedicated members of—Paul’s sisters and brothers who helped make the operation possible in the analog days. Motivational as well as informational—anyone who’s ever enjoyed their shoes, or daydreams about canvas tongues and metal eyelets—would find this a great gift. From Braintree Massachusetts to southern California, thoughts on unions, efficient systems, some sad parts but lots of happy ones, a horse race or two—It’s all here. And There’s a picture gallery! For just under 300 pages you get to hang out with the man who started something huge. I was positively obsessed with Sk8 His and Old Skools in the 1990s and couldn’t put this down. The original California Vans hand-vulcanized with the super-sticky rubber soles are a special step in the evolution of an enduring style and we couldn’t think of a radder way to honor Van Doren than having had the pleasure to read Authentic.

The Double F-Word: Puss in Flip Flops

I own a very majestic pair of flip-flops worthy of writing an ode to some day.  We don’t walk far using them, and we certainly don’t ride on the plane, train or bus with them.  Whether you want to capitalize the F or do a dash, we could really give a flying fork about this particular category of footwear, and can barely contain disgust with inappropriate use of what we consider beach/shower shoes. Situationally if you aren’t near water, your couch or a hammock, heck you doing wearing flip-flops out and about as if they were real shoes?? Open-back thong FFs are not real shoes! Love ’em for stationary activities, but walking, they make a sound like flip , flop — like fingernails on the whiteboard of the mind, yet more wretched. Public flip-flop wearers become ineffectual wusses if an everyday emergency presents itself. Worse if it’s a multi-emergency, you’re reliant on someone else to help you, or at least risk cutting short a fun excursion (no fun) or worse having to waste rescue-workers’ time. Have some bloody respect for your feet.

Consider this a love note. If something berserk goes down — you’re a pussy for letting something so simple — not having solid shoes — ruin your day, screw it summer. We don’t care which sex you are. You can carry a pair of decent slides in a pack to use as needed while trooping in your propers. We’ll even raise you a backup pair if you’re by the water. It’s hoping for the best & expecting the worst as an mRNA shot for having all the clues when it comes to shoes. You can’t be anything but an embarrassment if you show up to certain social situations with flips. Flops suck for walking stairs, driving automobiles, earthquake evacuations and strolling in the trashy rain.  Flip flops, slides, slippers, sandals and that whole family of footwear works greater by the beach, pool or beanbag chair. Buy a fresh pair. Make it count. Don’t be a puss in flops when life pulls up and steps on your toe.

https://www.wwlp.com/massappeal/its-sandal-season-the-dos-and-donts-of-flip-flops/

WATCh: Walkers Against Thigh CHafing

There’s no card to carry for a membership to Walkers Against Thigh CHafing, although everyone should be an unofficial member by their third decade or so round this lovely planet. The admittance process likely starts on a day we’ve all had where thigh-chafing occured and threatened our happiness, maybe even paused the day’s mission. Forget about it. Another summer is around our corner and it doesn’t take a mastermind to reach thigh chafe zero.

Sometimes called chub-rub, all body shapes can get it. Women and men of all genders get it. It happens when it’s really humid and you’re a moving human. Leg bands, tights and other delights can help, an old wives’ tale or two — but the most plentifully available defense against TC are boxer briefs. We’re not endorsing any brands, but after shoes, underwear is pretty important so cheap out at your own risk. Thank your folks or your buddy for keeping you underwear’d up all these years, but no one can make a purchase quite like you. Adults buy their own underpants, so command that.

Screen: Commando arcade game, released as 戦場の狼 in Japan (Capcom 1985)

 

So you’re on your own and buying underwears.  Just like trousers, you’ll end up liking a few pairs more than others. There’s your direction. Thinking of going commando (no underwear) on a long walk? A real commando would have bulletproof boxer briefs with a phone pouch. Basketball shorts commanding the living room couch is okay, going commando on a long hike? No way fool. So many brands are designing new things for you, are you going to leave them hanging like some damn enemy of fun? Thigh-Chafing shows no mercy. Don’t let two spaces on your skin often no bigger than an inch collab on this self-sabotage

Waste size: You don’t want your drawers slipping off your butt but if the waistband is too tight this can be hurtfully uncomfortable. Be sure to examine the package size chart end error on the up if your waist measurement is on the border between sizes. The wrong kind of boxer-briefs can creep up and cause crotchetiness or worse deliver a slow wedgie. Some have thin polyurethane strips around the leg openings to keep from slipping. Some will fit great. Some won’t. You won’t know until you try. We can always do a test rehearsal wear around the home turf before choosing to don the underclothes on a long day trip.
ReusedUnderwearBox

Factory outlets, shops at malls, your favorite sneaker company’s site — find some, buy some, try some! All good drawers certainly don’t come in a box. One of our excellent performers dangles freely on the racks at one of our favorite outdoor retailers. Stay away from buying multipacks at first, unless you know they’re great. Note things you like: Good space in the front, or the back, or the width or the length. Read the tag even if you have to use a magnifier. Are they cotton, polyester, combinations of the two, rayon, wool blend — futuristic proprietary fabrics? Put it on a phone note. There’s your data recording.

Avoid underwear ‘subscriptions’ until you’ve played the field.  And since there are so many brands — you’re lying. Sizes can be so inconsistent between brands too, it’s rather hilarious at times. We have some Larges that are bigger than XLs. Some fabrics dry slow, some fabrics dry quick. All elastic bands aren’t created equal. Sometimes it takes a few tries to feel what’s best in what weather. Do you want that big logo on them? If your body is a temple, take care of the anacondas and they’ll love you back by not chafing each other while propelling you forward. If some underdrawers aren’t working out, cut them into rags and buy a little harder in the future. Unlike outer-apparel oversights, no one else saw you fail  The lovely simple things, I could go on and on..

Please join up with Walkers Against Thigh CHafing if you haven’t already.

“For the simple pleasures are worth more than treasures, that your paper money ever bring..” – Minnie Riperton

Off The Path: Vaxx Repping Caps

We were bumping the new Papoose song the other night. In some of his promo shots, Pap is wearing a Pittsburgh Pirates cap featuring the big ‘P’. He’s obviously repping for his name. Like when Ice-T wore a ‘T’ (Texas) cap on his Midnight Marauders cover shot, wearing gear to subliminally represent something else is not new whatsoever. If you grew up in an area where street gangs were active, or know about old northeast sports fan beefs, you know all about hat-as-identification type styling. If you know about love and respect in the twenty-twenties, our ‘gang’ idea is very peaceful. Violence offers abhorrence, vaccines offer hope. Far from gangly, start thinking spangly.

Screenshot from the album cover “Midnight Marauders” by A Tribe Called Quest (1993)

Now that vaccines in America for COVID-19 are all over the place, (we’re getting #2 of Pfizer next week) we were thinking of creative ways to creatively ‘rep’ being vaxxed. As our society emerges from lockdown, there’s all manner of debate on how to brandish proof that one has received a vaccination for participation in recreational and social situations. We’re not saying wearing a cap with a ‘V’ on it is substitute for official documentation, but (have some fun with us) we picked out a few caps that we think a stylish pro-science head like YOU could pull off if you rocked it right. #VaxxGang represent.

Villanova Wildcats is a no-brainer. Crafty cats could even put an “axxed” after the “V” on it and take it to another level.

This Vanderbilt University cap could work. When you walk into your first party post-vaxx, you might feel like a star wearing this one just so.

Victory Brewing straight out of Downingtown, PA (love their Prima Pilsner). Subliminally, we like how this reps ‘victory’, even if it’s a personal one for you just getting through all this covidy crud with your head still attached.

Minor League Baseball has a few Vs. We might let you in the fun-gang with this Visalia Rawhide cap.

Good tune right? We know there are other V-caps out there. At us on twitter if you know some good ones we missed. We hope you are well. Things will never be the same again becasue of COVID, but we’re thankful to all the scientists and health workers that made this vaccination rollout happen. Think about it: Things were never normal anyway!

Radnom pin my bro got when he received his vaccination in Massachusetts. Brand: Penzeys

Off The Path is where we feature some non-footwear wearbles. Peace.

Editor’s note. I had such a problem getting the original cover image onto this post I gave up and used this still from the original “V” TV miniseries.